beach boys shelter image
No Peace w
His dad omitted him from his life and his brother won't give him any blankets. I really dislike the two of them right now. I am over 3000 miles away from all of them. I had to leave to get away from the "good ole boy" society.
Answer
Offer him shelter from the storm. If your finances and living situation are such that it would be feasible to provide him with a one-way plane or bus ticket from his current location to yours and a place to sleep for a while until he become self-sufficient, then consider making the offer. I would email him the ticket, and then send an e-gift card for a store like Target for him to buy some clothes, toiletries, and food between now and his date of departure rather than money if drugs are an issue. Of course, since he is an adult it will be his decision about whether he comes. If you do make the offer and he chooses to accept it, make it known that it's a gift that is coming with strings attached. Tell him that he can only stay there so long as he doesn't use any drugs, contributes to household duties, shows respect for himself and for you and for any other occupants in the house, and he gets a job or enrolls in a community college and makes an effort. It's possible that if he gets on track and moving in a positive direction his brother and father will change their current stances about him. I wouldn't siphon off your energy or your time disliking them because that will benefit no one.
If you aren't able to have him come and stay with you, then look into local resources in his area. If there's a Covenant House near him, that might be a place to start. They provide shelter, food, healthcare, crisis care and resources for getting a job, a place to live, and an education for youth aged 16-21. Since he is 20, it will be up to him to take the steps necessary to go there on his own accord, and he'll have to abide by their rules. In another question you mentioned your son being in trouble with the law. I don't know what that entails. Whatever it is, he can't run from it or wish it away, and he can't be free until he faces up to it. Places like Covenant House can help with some legal matters. You could also try to help locate and pay for decent legal counseling if necessary.
Eventually, most people who are sleeping in the rain and the cold on a beach with one blanket, either literally or metaphorically, get tired of being cold and wet and sandy and take action for themselves. Or, they get picked up for loitering. Hopefully he will "pull himself up by the bootstraps" before that happens.
~ skylark : )
Offer him shelter from the storm. If your finances and living situation are such that it would be feasible to provide him with a one-way plane or bus ticket from his current location to yours and a place to sleep for a while until he become self-sufficient, then consider making the offer. I would email him the ticket, and then send an e-gift card for a store like Target for him to buy some clothes, toiletries, and food between now and his date of departure rather than money if drugs are an issue. Of course, since he is an adult it will be his decision about whether he comes. If you do make the offer and he chooses to accept it, make it known that it's a gift that is coming with strings attached. Tell him that he can only stay there so long as he doesn't use any drugs, contributes to household duties, shows respect for himself and for you and for any other occupants in the house, and he gets a job or enrolls in a community college and makes an effort. It's possible that if he gets on track and moving in a positive direction his brother and father will change their current stances about him. I wouldn't siphon off your energy or your time disliking them because that will benefit no one.
If you aren't able to have him come and stay with you, then look into local resources in his area. If there's a Covenant House near him, that might be a place to start. They provide shelter, food, healthcare, crisis care and resources for getting a job, a place to live, and an education for youth aged 16-21. Since he is 20, it will be up to him to take the steps necessary to go there on his own accord, and he'll have to abide by their rules. In another question you mentioned your son being in trouble with the law. I don't know what that entails. Whatever it is, he can't run from it or wish it away, and he can't be free until he faces up to it. Places like Covenant House can help with some legal matters. You could also try to help locate and pay for decent legal counseling if necessary.
Eventually, most people who are sleeping in the rain and the cold on a beach with one blanket, either literally or metaphorically, get tired of being cold and wet and sandy and take action for themselves. Or, they get picked up for loitering. Hopefully he will "pull himself up by the bootstraps" before that happens.
~ skylark : )
How to transform yourself over the summer?
Chloe
I'm moving into Year 9 this year, and i really want to make an impression on the first day back. I need to get to grips with EVERYTHING this summer: friends, schoolwork, future plans, boys, socialising, being creative, hair, make up, clothes... Argh! So how should i plan my summer?
Answer
I'm doing the same thing this summer! Here's my advice:
Friends/Socializing: Hang out with your friends during the summer so that you guys stay friends. If you're a little on the shyer side, try and use the summer to work on your social skills and make a couple new friends. Have sleepovers, go to the beach, go to parties, dances, etc. Be social and try and break out of your shell. Get out of your comfort zone and have fun!
Hair: Summer is the time to experiment! Try new things with your hair - cut it short, grow it out, dip-dye it, highlight it, get streaks, dye it with Kool-Aide, and experiment with different styles. Do some research online or look in magazines or just at the people around you to see which hairstyles you like. Practice them, and look up some tutorials online if you're not sure how to do them. After practicing your favourite styles and seeing what looks best on you, you'll be ready to do them in the mornings at school without taking up tons of time. Also, find products that make your hair look great. If you have straight "boring hair, try a volumizing spray. If you have frizzy hair, try a deep-conditioner. If you have "wild" curly hair, try a cream that helps curls look defined, but not wild. Find products that suit your hair type.
Makeup: Same as hair - use summer to experiment. Practice applying different things, see which colours look good on you, find out which colours make your eyes pop and which to avoid. Have a makeup day with your friends where you practice doing each other's makeup. Give your opinions on what looks good and what doesn't, that way you'll know now instead of on the first day of school.
Clothes: Go on a few shopping sprees! Look through magazines, online, or at people around you and see which styles of clothing you love. Write them down, take pictures, and then go out and find similar styles in the stores. Go through your current clothes and donate old clothes that don't fit you or that you don't like - no use weighing down your wardrobe with things you'll never wear. Figure out what items of clothing you have enough of and need more of. This is also a good time to make sure that your bra still fits. Measure yourself or get yourself fitted to make sure that "the girls" look good too. :-)
Schoolwork: If you really want to be ahead of the game, review concepts from last year a week or so before school starts. This will give your brain a head start and you'll be able to get through those first few classes a lot easier. Find ways to organize yourself for next year - get homework folders, agendas/planners to write down your assignments, get file folders, etc. If you're bad at procrastinating with your work, once you go back do your homework the day you get it, right when you get home from school to avoid late-night homework sessions and stress. Also, figure out how to study for tests and quizzes, and take online tests to see what kind of a learner you are (Visual/Verbal, Hands-On, etc.) Once you know your learning "style" you can figure out how to best prepare for tests (ie. flash cards, group study sessions, etc.)
Future Plans: This is a great time to go out and try new things. Lots of people are unsure of their future job/university plans because they're not sure what things interest them, so get out there and try new things. Like animals? Volunteer or apply to work at an animal shelter. Like sports? Get a job as a lifeguard, a referee, or a coach. Like to be creative? Take some art classes in different mediums; sketching, painting, pottery, photography, etc. Find something that interests you, and that way you'll have a better idea of what things you'd like to study in college/university and eventually persue as a career. Do some research on colleges/universities that interest you and learn about them. Find out what grades you need to get in, so you can start preparing for them now.
Being creative: Find out what interests you. Like I said above, take art classes. Also try photography, writing, blogging, or writing your own music. Learn to play an instrument and record covers of your favourite songs. Re-decorate your room using DIY stuff (look up some ideas online). Make your own jewelry, paint ceramics, sew something (a bag, clothes, etc.), knit something, or crochet something. Get a video camera (or a digital camera with a video setting) and make some movies/music videos with your friends. Once you've found something that you love, keep doing it, and have fun with it!
Boys: Guys love confident, happy girls that share their interests. Go to the beach or a party with your friends and flirt with some guys there, or use the summer to get up the nerve to talk to that guy at school that you have a crush on. :-)
Sorry that it's so long! Good luck!
I'm doing the same thing this summer! Here's my advice:
Friends/Socializing: Hang out with your friends during the summer so that you guys stay friends. If you're a little on the shyer side, try and use the summer to work on your social skills and make a couple new friends. Have sleepovers, go to the beach, go to parties, dances, etc. Be social and try and break out of your shell. Get out of your comfort zone and have fun!
Hair: Summer is the time to experiment! Try new things with your hair - cut it short, grow it out, dip-dye it, highlight it, get streaks, dye it with Kool-Aide, and experiment with different styles. Do some research online or look in magazines or just at the people around you to see which hairstyles you like. Practice them, and look up some tutorials online if you're not sure how to do them. After practicing your favourite styles and seeing what looks best on you, you'll be ready to do them in the mornings at school without taking up tons of time. Also, find products that make your hair look great. If you have straight "boring hair, try a volumizing spray. If you have frizzy hair, try a deep-conditioner. If you have "wild" curly hair, try a cream that helps curls look defined, but not wild. Find products that suit your hair type.
Makeup: Same as hair - use summer to experiment. Practice applying different things, see which colours look good on you, find out which colours make your eyes pop and which to avoid. Have a makeup day with your friends where you practice doing each other's makeup. Give your opinions on what looks good and what doesn't, that way you'll know now instead of on the first day of school.
Clothes: Go on a few shopping sprees! Look through magazines, online, or at people around you and see which styles of clothing you love. Write them down, take pictures, and then go out and find similar styles in the stores. Go through your current clothes and donate old clothes that don't fit you or that you don't like - no use weighing down your wardrobe with things you'll never wear. Figure out what items of clothing you have enough of and need more of. This is also a good time to make sure that your bra still fits. Measure yourself or get yourself fitted to make sure that "the girls" look good too. :-)
Schoolwork: If you really want to be ahead of the game, review concepts from last year a week or so before school starts. This will give your brain a head start and you'll be able to get through those first few classes a lot easier. Find ways to organize yourself for next year - get homework folders, agendas/planners to write down your assignments, get file folders, etc. If you're bad at procrastinating with your work, once you go back do your homework the day you get it, right when you get home from school to avoid late-night homework sessions and stress. Also, figure out how to study for tests and quizzes, and take online tests to see what kind of a learner you are (Visual/Verbal, Hands-On, etc.) Once you know your learning "style" you can figure out how to best prepare for tests (ie. flash cards, group study sessions, etc.)
Future Plans: This is a great time to go out and try new things. Lots of people are unsure of their future job/university plans because they're not sure what things interest them, so get out there and try new things. Like animals? Volunteer or apply to work at an animal shelter. Like sports? Get a job as a lifeguard, a referee, or a coach. Like to be creative? Take some art classes in different mediums; sketching, painting, pottery, photography, etc. Find something that interests you, and that way you'll have a better idea of what things you'd like to study in college/university and eventually persue as a career. Do some research on colleges/universities that interest you and learn about them. Find out what grades you need to get in, so you can start preparing for them now.
Being creative: Find out what interests you. Like I said above, take art classes. Also try photography, writing, blogging, or writing your own music. Learn to play an instrument and record covers of your favourite songs. Re-decorate your room using DIY stuff (look up some ideas online). Make your own jewelry, paint ceramics, sew something (a bag, clothes, etc.), knit something, or crochet something. Get a video camera (or a digital camera with a video setting) and make some movies/music videos with your friends. Once you've found something that you love, keep doing it, and have fun with it!
Boys: Guys love confident, happy girls that share their interests. Go to the beach or a party with your friends and flirt with some guys there, or use the summer to get up the nerve to talk to that guy at school that you have a crush on. :-)
Sorry that it's so long! Good luck!
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Title Post: My son is sleeping in the rain and cold on a beach with one blanket. What can I do for him?
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Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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