Wednesday, September 4, 2013

My son is sleeping in the rain and cold on a beach with one blanket. What can I do for him?

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 on South Haven Tribune - Sports and recreation10.12.11Three Rivers spoils ...
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His dad omitted him from his life and his brother won't give him any blankets. I really dislike the two of them right now. I am over 3000 miles away from all of them. I had to leave to get away from the "good ole boy" society.


Answer
Offer him shelter from the storm. If your finances and living situation are such that it would be feasible to provide him with a one-way plane or bus ticket from his current location to yours and a place to sleep for a while until he become self-sufficient, then consider making the offer. I would email him the ticket, and then send an e-gift card for a store like Target for him to buy some clothes, toiletries, and food between now and his date of departure rather than money if drugs are an issue. Of course, since he is an adult it will be his decision about whether he comes. If you do make the offer and he chooses to accept it, make it known that it's a gift that is coming with strings attached. Tell him that he can only stay there so long as he doesn't use any drugs, contributes to household duties, shows respect for himself and for you and for any other occupants in the house, and he gets a job or enrolls in a community college and makes an effort. It's possible that if he gets on track and moving in a positive direction his brother and father will change their current stances about him. I wouldn't siphon off your energy or your time disliking them because that will benefit no one.

If you aren't able to have him come and stay with you, then look into local resources in his area. If there's a Covenant House near him, that might be a place to start. They provide shelter, food, healthcare, crisis care and resources for getting a job, a place to live, and an education for youth aged 16-21. Since he is 20, it will be up to him to take the steps necessary to go there on his own accord, and he'll have to abide by their rules. In another question you mentioned your son being in trouble with the law. I don't know what that entails. Whatever it is, he can't run from it or wish it away, and he can't be free until he faces up to it. Places like Covenant House can help with some legal matters. You could also try to help locate and pay for decent legal counseling if necessary.

Eventually, most people who are sleeping in the rain and the cold on a beach with one blanket, either literally or metaphorically, get tired of being cold and wet and sandy and take action for themselves. Or, they get picked up for loitering. Hopefully he will "pull himself up by the bootstraps" before that happens.

~ skylark : )

What are the significant elements that home business owners use to support themselves besides money?




N.T.





Answer
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